Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
