I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
