I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
