How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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