Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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