Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
