But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
