The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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