We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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