maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
