Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
