He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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