How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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