Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
