is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize