i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
