I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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