I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
