I can tuck mytits in my pants
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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