You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize