I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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