Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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