Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize