very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
