my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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