Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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