i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
