apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Text me some of your sweat
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