bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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