So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
