awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
