My friends, they love my intelligence
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
They are going to name an STD after you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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