hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
