The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
