I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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