I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
