I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
