Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How does one acquire holy water?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize