Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
