he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
