i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
