WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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