I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
