did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
