Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
