everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
