party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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