Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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