it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
