walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dicks are not precious.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
