How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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