I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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