I wish I could punch you in the face.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
