they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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