3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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