she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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