I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
