I want to have your abortion
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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