I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize